No Accidents

On August 21st, 2018, I had MRI’s of my lumbar spine and head. Imaging was followed by an appointment with my neuro-oncologist. She is a wonderful doctor and, in addition to making sure that my brain is disease-free, she monitors me for seizure activity.

It, apparently, has been six months since my last seizure.

The medication that my doctor placed me on has worked thus far. And, as long as I continue to take that medication as prescribed, and remain seizure-free, I am allowed to drive.

Yes, they’re letting me behind the wheel again!

steering wheel

But, whoa, girl! You can’t just get in a car and go….

In many ways, I feel as though it’s been a lifetime since I’ve driven anywhere. It’s like I’m 15 years old again, driving my father’s Chevy S-10 around our yard, narrowly avoiding trees. Driving did not come naturally to me and, now, I have a lot to relearn.

I stopped driving shortly before I was officially diagnosed with relapsed Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. The tumor in my spinal cord (which no one knew was there until February 2017) made manipulating the brake and gas pedals extremely painful. I was too slow braking and I knew I was putting my life—and others’ lives—in jeopardy. To me, it was an unacceptable risk. So, I stopped driving.

That was in my Civic Coupe—the car from my single lady days, if you will. My fiancé and I traded our respective vehicles in when we realized a bone marrow transplant in Boston was inevitable. We needed a vehicle that a six-foot-five-inch tall male could comfortably sit in (the Civic was too small). We needed something that was fuel efficient (his truck, although loved, was not). We ended up with a sedan. Boxer engine. Slate blue. Great MPG.

wheel

Now that I am allowed to drive again, it’s my turn to get comfortable with this trade-in. For someone with spatial awareness issues, though, adjusting to a change in vehicle size is a challenge. To be on the safe side of things, I prefer to drive with a co-pilot. I like to stick to quiet roads. No rush hour for me, please.

Sitting behind the wheel again, though, has surprisingly stirred up some memories from my high school Driver’s Education class. I can picture the manual that we were assigned to read. I can remember driving through one of the small towns near our high school. I can remember struggling with parallel parking. On one of these voyages—in the Driver’s Ed car packed with four students (one driving and three in the backseat)—the instructor asked a rather serious question.

I can’t remember the exact wording of the question but the answer was, “There is no such thing as an accident. There are only collisions.”

Only collisions.

It’s an odd thing to remember, I suppose—but I do believe that nothing is entirely accidental. As I wrote in my last post, there is a plan. We simply don’t know all of the details. It becomes a bit clearer, I think, when circumstances begin to collide.

Please, Dear Readers, continue to send prayers, light and love. Your positive thoughts give me strength; you fuel and fan the little spark of hope in my heart. It glows brighter because of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

 

With Love,

Laura

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